


Reckless Redmond.

by H2iK37



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-17 04:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15453576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/H2iK37/pseuds/H2iK37
Summary: This is a prequel to, Carshare. Episode one, Season oneIt's a week to go and. John still hasn't signed up for carsharing.





	1. What If?

"You've reached. Redmond Fm", I'm out of the office at the moment if you leave your message after the beep, i will get back to you as soon as possible. 'BEEEP' ahh for fucksake i hate these pissin things, nobody answer their phones anymore, it's Paul Clark just calling too catch up. "WHAT'S UP" P.C! shit you nearly gave me a coronary there mate, every time paul..... every time he was laughing to himself at the other end something wrong. 

Aye you could say that, heard about that. Carshare Shite, that's starting next week, sure have paul there's nearly been catfights, among the female staff arguing with each other, about who's carsharing with who. Lost count how many disciplinaries i've, handed out, same here john nothing but fucking hassle. The amount of times i've had to to break up arguments for the same thing. It's like they're going to meet the man of their dreams or something. And it's not even started yet, I'm already pissed off with the whole thing. Have you signed up for it yet john? Have i balls already told. Dave Thompson that if head office want me to sign up they can pay for me diesel, what did he say john. Nothing, i was expecting him to do his nut, he just said join the queue john, bunch of numpties with nothing better too do with their time. 

Coming up with hare brained schemes. What's it all in aid of anyway, that's what i'd like to know! John. Something to do with saving the environment, and cutting emissions, that's a laugh for a start they've clearly never had to share a hotel room with you. After a night on the beer and curry, during training seminars, what do you mean! Christ the amount of emissions you put out during the night, you'd have thought there was a gas leak, from your side of the room it was enough to choke a horse, and bring tears to a blind man's eyes. "Bloody cheek" paul, the smell you left behind in that bathroom first thing, you'd have thought something had crawled in there to die it did! Both of them had tears in their eyes from laughing, some of the shit we got up to john, like peeing in the kettle, you wiping little john inside the plastic cups. And you thought you'd shat yourself, turned out to be the chocolate mint house keeping left on your pillow., alright takin the piss. 

Can i get your autograph john, what you on about paul. Your the poster boy for this month's, staff newsletter, shit forgot all about that? Pissed myself laughing at the headline. "John Redmond trolley boy too Assistant Manager" the yts year's, you really should learn to smile john, what do you mean paul. You look as though your about to be put in front of a firing squad, or off one of those wild west posters! Have you seen this man, john fm redmond, a.k.a the. Fanny Magnet? Anyway have to go speak to you later. 

John looked up as. Kath hilton entered his office, what's that you've got there, paperwork for. Carshare list, you need too sign off on it, give us a look then he spots kayleigh's name at the bottom, with an empty space next to it. Thinking I'm not having this before writing his own name next to kayleigh's don't forget john that your presenting. Kayleigh with the employee of the month award later on, along with a gift voucher, what's it this month kath, not another for that safari Park is it. No its a luxury weekend for two in a spa hotel.


	2. Day One.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if, John was already on. Heartsearchers.com before he started carsharing?!

"Watcha up to john"! Jesus. Kath, give me a heart attack why don't you, creeping in the office like that don't you ever knock! I did but you were so ingrossed by your phone you never heard me. What's so interesting anyway, were you watching porn on it,do you want me too leave so you can clean up, there's some kleenex in one of the desk drawers? 

John was lying of course, he was checking his. Heartsearchers.com, profile looking for any replies to the winks he had been sending too. Frances Houseman, but she hadn't replied yet, he had seen her profile photo one afternoon while scrolling through his inbox. Instead of dealing with paper work for back to work interviews, thinking to himself, I know that face from somewhere but he couldn't quite place it! 

Instead he was getting winks from someone called. Derry Girl! Who was interested in meeting him, she was telling him every single detail about herself including her. Favourite positions, including what her favourite film was. Fatal Attraction? Kinell, he thought I'll have to block this bunny boiler. 

No. Kath, john answered back I am not watching porn on my phone as you so eloquently put it, I was checking my emails that's all. Anyway how can I help you, I've got. Kayleigh's home address as requested, john, thank's kath. 

SAT-NAV: 'Please make a right turn. 

"You couldn't find your way out of a women's toilet cubicle". With a map and compass! 

SAT-NAV: 'The route is being recalculated. 

' What where are we going. 

SAT-NAV: please follow the road ahead. 

I've passed this nursery school three times, those triplets were twins. 

SAT -NAV: 'Now go straight on.

'Argh, You only wear knickers to keep your ankles warm.

SAT-NAV: You have reached your destination. 

'Finally.  
' What's up in a huff,not speaking to me? 

Did you find me all right? Not a bother, straight to the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No copyright infringement intended.


End file.
